Harry Potter Magical Wand
Anonymous asked: Will you write the one shot I requested? If not just tell me haha I understand lol

i never got any request though?

  posted 1 day ago 1 note

cakeandrevolution:

I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.

malfoysotter:

"Was this all an elaborate, well-planned scheme? You trick me into dating you, with your little skirts and your pretty eyes and your vast knowledge of things no one cares about; you spend four months getting me comfortable, pulling me off into closets during breaks at work to snog, baking those pistachio muffins every Sunday morning and getting along swimmingly with my mother, and then you bring me here. To a muggle carnival. You give me confusingly delicious deep fried sweets, win me a stuffed purple octopus as a way to mislead me into believing this is fun, and then you put me on a sodding Ferris wheel? which conveniently breaks nearly the moment my arse hits the seat? You brought me up here to kill me, didn’t you?!"

Hermione stared at him, mouth open, eyes wide.

"Are you serious?"

"Very!"

"That is, undoubtedly, the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. You are an absolute idiot, Draco." She emphasized her point by smacking his shoulder rather hard.

"…so you aren’t trying to kill me and dispose of my body at a Muggle carnival?"

"No!"

"Well excuse me for being suspicious!" He responded, his eyes unable to stop themselves from looking down. He instantly felt sick. They were just so /high/ up, and Draco wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of heights. It was different on a broom, he had /control/ and the ability to get back on the ground whenever he wished, but being stuck on an evil circular machine with no sign of when he’d be able to get back down and nothing to strap him in but a weak-looking metal bar was /terrifying./

Despite the fact that he was being an intolerable prick, she could feel the fear radiating off of him and she felt bad. He was awfully cute when he looked scared.

Biting her lip, she pulled her wand out of her pocket and muttered a protective charm so that the Muggle’s wouldn’t be able to see what they were doing before scooting a bit closer to her boyfriend and pressing her mouth to the side of his neck.

"What are you doing?" He asked confusedly as she began gently sucking at his skin, nibbling and licking at him softly.

"Helping you relax," she replied, sinking her teeth into the skin at his pulse point and smiling when he groaned.

He wanted to protest, to tell her that this really was not the place or time, but then her small hand was on his thigh and moving upward, her nails scratching against the denim of the stupid muggle pants she’d made him wear, and then her fingers grazed against the slight bulge in his pants and he bit his lip hard.

"Close your eyes," she murmured in his ear before pulling his earlobe into her mouth, biting it lightly while she palmed at his cock through his jeans, which looked brilliant on him, if she did say so herself.

He instantly obeyed and his head fell back against the chair, exposing the pale expanse of his throat to her and she attacked it with renewed vigor.

Her fingers deftly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and she slipped her eager hand into his pants, cupping him fully in her hand with only his thin boxers as a barrier. She felt a spot of pre-cum through the fabric and she slowly dragged her tongue up his throat, sprinkling little kisses on his jaw.

"Picture your old dorm at Hogwarts," she began, speaking softly against his skin just as her hand finally pushed under the fabric of boxers and firmly gripped him in her hand, making him shudder.

"You’ve got me bent over your bed, with my skirt flipped up and my knickers around my knees and you’re fucking me so hard I’m /shaking/ and I’ve got to bite my own hand just so that your roommates won’t hear me scream, cause I’d asked you to cast a silencing charm but you’d said no, because you want to hear the noises I’d make for you."

She’s pumping him vigorously, her fist closed tight around him and he’s moaning, burying his head into her neck and moaning shakily and she can tell he’s going to cum at any second.

"You’ve got a fist in my hair," she continued ruthlessly. ""Pulling it like reins while your other hand squeezes my hip, and it hurts but I love it and so do you, and my own hand is rubbing at my clit, and you start fucking me harder and faster…"

"Oh my god."

Her hand gets faster. His thighs are shaking a bit.

"I’m pushing back into you, meeting you thrust for thrust.."

"Don’t stop."

"And when you move your mouth to bite my shoulder, I cum with a scream of your name, my pussy convulsing around your cock."

His hips start pumping into her hand, and with a stuttering cry of her name, he cums into her hand and on his pants.

She smiles.

The Ferris wheel turns back on.

Perhaps Carnivals aren’t so bad, he thinks as he finally re-opens his eyes.

http://deandehaan.tumblr.com/post/97659349679/textsfromtitanfood-consider-the-following

deandehaan:

textsfromtitanfood:

consider the following aus

  • "we wore matching halloween costumes to this party" au
  • "we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
  • "tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck…

pagets:

little miss sunshine (2006) dir. jonathan dayton & valerie faris

do you know who marcel proust is? french writer. total loser. never had a real job. unrequited love affairs. gay. spent twenty years writing a book almost no one reads. but he’s also probably the greatest writer since shakespeare. anyway, he, uh, he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, ‘cause they made him who he was. all those years he was happy? you know, total waste. didn’t learn a thing. so, if you sleep until you’re eighteen, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. i mean high school? those are your prime suffering years. you don’t get better suffering than that.

  posted 1 day agovia (© pagets) 191 notes
  posted 1 day agovia (© remuslupnn) 1,057 notes

"Was this all an elaborate, well-planned scheme? You trick me into dating you, with your little skirts and your pretty eyes and your vast knowledge of things no one cares about; you spend four months getting me comfortable, pulling me off into closets during breaks at work to snog, baking those pistachio muffins every Sunday morning and getting along swimmingly with my mother, and then you bring me here. To a muggle carnival. You give me confusingly delicious deep fried sweets, win me a stuffed purple octopus as a way to mislead me into believing this is fun, and then you put me on a sodding Ferris wheel? which conveniently breaks nearly the moment my arse hits the seat? You brought me up here to kill me, didn’t you?!"

Hermione stared at him, mouth open, eyes wide.

"Are you serious?"

"Very!"

"That is, undoubtedly, the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. You are an absolute idiot, Draco." She emphasized her point by smacking his shoulder rather hard.

"…so you aren’t trying to kill me and dispose of my body at a Muggle carnival?"

"No!"

"Well excuse me for being suspicious!" He responded, his eyes unable to stop themselves from looking down. He instantly felt sick. They were just so /high/ up, and Draco wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of heights. It was different on a broom, he had /control/ and the ability to get back on the ground whenever he wished, but being stuck on an evil circular machine with no sign of when he’d be able to get back down and nothing to strap him in but a weak-looking metal bar was /terrifying./

Despite the fact that he was being an intolerable prick, she could feel the fear radiating off of him and she felt bad. He was awfully cute when he looked scared.

Biting her lip, she pulled her wand out of her pocket and muttered a protective charm so that the Muggle’s wouldn’t be able to see what they were doing before scooting a bit closer to her boyfriend and pressing her mouth to the side of his neck.

"What are you doing?" He asked confusedly as she began gently sucking at his skin, nibbling and licking at him softly.

"Helping you relax," she replied, sinking her teeth into the skin at his pulse point and smiling when he groaned.

He wanted to protest, to tell her that this really was not the place or time, but then her small hand was on his thigh and moving upward, her nails scratching against the denim of the stupid muggle pants she’d made him wear, and then her fingers grazed against the slight bulge in his pants and he bit his lip hard.

"Close your eyes," she murmured in his ear before pulling his earlobe into her mouth, biting it lightly while she palmed at his cock through his jeans, which looked brilliant on him, if she did say so herself.

He instantly obeyed and his head fell back against the chair, exposing the pale expanse of his throat to her and she attacked it with renewed vigor.

Her fingers deftly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and she slipped her eager hand into his pants, cupping him fully in her hand with only his thin boxers as a barrier. She felt a spot of pre-cum through the fabric and she slowly dragged her tongue up his throat, sprinkling little kisses on his jaw.

"Picture your old dorm at Hogwarts," she began, speaking softly against his skin just as her hand finally pushed under the fabric of boxers and firmly gripped him in her hand, making him shudder.

"You’ve got me bent over your bed, with my skirt flipped up and my knickers around my knees and you’re fucking me so hard I’m /shaking/ and I’ve got to bite my own hand just so that your roommates won’t hear me scream, cause I’d asked you to cast a silencing charm but you’d said no, because you want to hear the noises I’d make for you."

She’s pumping him vigorously, her fist closed tight around him and he’s moaning, burying his head into her neck and moaning shakily and she can tell he’s going to cum at any second.

"You’ve got a fist in my hair," she continued ruthlessly. ""Pulling it like reins while your other hand squeezes my hip, and it hurts but I love it and so do you, and my own hand is rubbing at my clit, and you start fucking me harder and faster…"

"Oh my god."

Her hand gets faster. His thighs are shaking a bit.

"I’m pushing back into you, meeting you thrust for thrust.."

"Don’t stop."

"And when you move your mouth to bite my shoulder, I cum with a scream of your name, my pussy convulsing around your cock."

His hips start pumping into her hand, and with a stuttering cry of her name, he cums into her hand and on his pants.

She smiles.

The Ferris wheel turns back on.

Perhaps Carnivals aren’t so bad, he thinks as he finally re-opens his eyes.

kanyewestxx:

kanyezus:

idreamediwasawerewolf:

Yeezus Tour
September 12 || Qantas Credit Union Arena, Sydney, Australia.

This is literally from the video where this crusty asshole was yelling at two wheelchair bound people who were at his concert to stand up. I can’t stand him. He thinks he’s fucking anointed or some shit. As if his music is gonna heal them and make them walk. The entire crowd booed the two wheelchair bound people. Granted they didn’t know but you can’t assume everyone is able bodied. He’s such a dick.

I’m gonna stop you right there cause you have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. As I was there.. and you were not. You’ve successfully been convinced by the media and their (twisted) version of what happened. I assume you never even saw the footage of it either? He did not yell at anyone, he performed the pre-planned “I want everyone to stand up for this song” bit and he specifically said unless you are disabled/are in a wheelchair then that is fine. He waited til he found out if they were disabled because the crowd was actually boo-ing them and telling them to stand up.. which probably confused him and he thought they were just being stubborn, and the second he found out they were wheelchair bound he said that’s fine and continued with the song. Get it right and stop reading perez hilton fucking articles cause let’s face it that guy amongst all other media sources just want to publicise Kanye in the worst way possible.

Whew. #FuckThePress











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